A Basket of Drabbles
by Geoduck
Summary: An anthology of super-short Furuba stories I've written over the years. Mostly humorous. Today's story: An awkward moment on a double-date.
1. A Link to the Past

Title: A Link to the Past

* * *

Tohru watched as the kitten ran away from Kyo's outstretched fingers.

Softly, she embraced him from behind. "You miss the cats coming up to you, don't you?"

Kyo blushed slightly in embarrassment. "Yeah. Don't tell anybody."

Tohru smiled. "Don't worry. But I wonder how the others are reacting to not being cursed anymore?"

* * *

Kagura looked up to the waitress. "I can make substitutions, right?"

"Yes, miss."

"Super. I'll have the pork cutlet meal. But instead of the rice, I'd like ham. And instead of the salad, I'd like sausage."

"Uh.... anything else?"

"Yes. Instead of the glass of water, I want bacon."


	2. Barbeque

Barbeque

Theme: Humor/Horror

Setting: Shortly after Ayame's introduction

* * *

Following the tempting smell of grilling meat, Yuki padded down the stairs to the back porch.

"Honda-san, that smells wonder... Shigure? Where's Honda-san?"

"Tohru-kun is out shopping right now." Using tongs, Shigure carefully turned the long cylinder of meat on the grill. "I'm not sure how long."

"Oh. Then... why exactly are you cooking, Shigure?"

"Um... because you asked me to. 'Skin and barbeque him', you said."

"Nii-san's... dead?" Yuki stared, then fainted backwards.

Tohru emerged from the house. "Thanks for watching the kielbasa for me, Shigure-san. Eh? Yuki-kun? What happened?"

"Alas. Apparently Yuki-kun is more gullible than I expected."


	3. Blame it on the Rain

Title: Blame it on the Rain

* * *

There was nothing worse than sitting alone in the house in a rainstorm, Kyo thought.

The front door opened: Shigure and Ayame walked in. Okay, maybe there **was** something worse.

"Ah, Kyonkichi-kun! We knew you'd be moody because of the weather, so we thought we'd cheer up you with... karaoke!"

'Oh no.'

"_Raindrops keep fallin' on my head..._"

"Shut up."

"No? How about... _Rainy days and Mondays always get me down_."

"Stop. Now."

"_Don't know why... there's no sun up in the sky... stormy weather..._"

"Dammit!"

Ayame and Shigure looked at each other in silent agreement. "_It's raining men! Hallelujah!_"


	4. Cavalry

Cavalry

* * *

Haru slid the door open and strolled inside, grinning.

Sitting up under the covers on his bed, Rin looked at him suspiciously. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, nothing." He sat down next to her and ran his hand up and down the blanket that covered her form. "They said I don't have to go to school. We can spend all day..." He patted the bed. "...in here."

"Why?"

"They think I'm sick with a sore throat."

"Why do they think that?"

Haru grinned as he ran his hands over her again. "I said I was feeling a little horse."


	5. Where the Deer and the Antelope Wordplay

Where the Deer and the Antelope Wordplay

* * *

"Ritsu! Stop monkeying around!"

Hatsuharu was momentarily cowed. "What are you hounding him for, sensei?"

"I'm going barking mad. Rin, no horseplay!"

Ayame snaked in. "Gure-san, help me with Tori-san. I try to hurry him, but all he does is drag on."

"I'm busy. Get Kureno."

"He's too cocky."

Yuki ran in. "Kagura's eating everything and Kyo's crying."

"Kagura, stop pigging out. Kyo, don't be a pussy. And Yuki, don't rat on them."

"Hey, I can't find hide nor hare of Momiji!"

Momiji waved. "Here."

"Oh," Hiro said sheepishly. "And Kisa's, uh..."

"Tigered?" Kisa suggested.

A long, long silence followed.


	6. Kagura Sohma Invites You to her Wedding

Title: Kagura Sohma cordially invites you to her wedding

* * *

For the nineteenth time, the organist played the bridal march. The guests grew restless.

Bridesmaid Kisa tugged at Kagura. "Kagura-neechan... I don't think he's coming."

Kagura's eyes were fierce. "No! I know he's coming! I believe in his love for me!"

* * *

Kyo ran to the ticket counter. "I need a one one-way ticket to whatever city is farthest away from Japan!"

"Uh, sir, I'm not sure where..."

"I don't care! Timbuktu, Abu Dhabi, Walla Walla, whatever! I just need to leave! Now!"

* * *

Kagura sat alone in the darkened chapel, illuminating it with her rage. "I'll kill you, Kyo-kun, you bastard!"


	7. Spoiler

Title: Spoiler

* * *

"Hatori-chan. Could you do a favor for me?"

"What do you want, Kagura?"

"You know that memory thing you do?"

Hatori sighed. "No, Kagura, I'm not going to erase the memory of you walking in on Kyo and Tohru necking."

"No, this is different…"

* * *

"We're done, Kagura."

Kagura looked at Hatori with a puzzled but pleased expression on her face.

Suddenly, a smirking Shigure stuck his head into Hatori's office. "Snape kills Dumbledore!"

A look of dawning realization on Kagura's face turned to rage. "Shi-chan, you bastard, you did it AGAIN!"

Wearly, Hatori closed his eyes. "I hate my life."


	8. A Close Shave

Author's note: Thanks to everyone for reading and for all of the wonderful reviews! I'm so happy that you're enjoying my stories. I plan on posting one every morning as long as I can. Most of these were actually written 4-5 years ago, but I'm also going to be posting some brand new ones now and again.

* * *

Title: **A Close Shave**

* * *

"Pink is for a girl, of course, but blue is pretty, too. Which do you like better, Hiro-chan?"

"I could not possibly care less."

"Hiro-chaaaaan," Kagura whined, "this **is** for your little sister. Don't you want to help me knit her an adorable blanket?"

Hiro sighed. "Do what you want, but I won't help you."

Kagura brightened. "Oh, I only need a tiny bit of help."

"What?", he asked, eyes narrowing.

"Just help me get the wool."

Hiro had a sinking feeling. "Help you... how?"

From behind her back, Kagura pulled out a pair of electric clippers. "It's shearing time!"

* * *

The title comes from the brilliant _Wallace and Gromit_ short of the same name. This was originally written in honor of the birth of Hinata Sohma, Hiro's little sister, who first appears in manga chapter 103.


	9. Death of a Rabbit

Title: **Death of a Rabbit**

Author's note: Don't ask me who is speaking in this story. I don't know, and it doesn't matter.

* * *

"Momiji was shot to death?"

"I couldn't believe it myself, but that's the truth."

"I know his father is a rich businessman... was it Yakuza-related?"

"No."

"Momiji's half-German... maybe it was some racial-purity extremist?"

"No, the man who did it was actually a foreigner himself. American, believe it or not."

"From America? Was he a drug dealer?"

"Nothing like that. Actually, he seems like a totally calm middle-aged man."

"Some kind of psychopath?"

"That's what they're trying to find out. He keeps saying the same thing over and over. 'But they said it was wabbit season.'"


	10. The Cat Will Never Beat the Rat

Title: The Cat Will Never Beat The Rat

Author's note: This was written for an "Alternate Universe" challenge. Enjoy.

* * *

Kyo groaned as he picked himself up off the ground. Another loss. And, it felt like, a slightly sprained wrist, a bruised bicep, some scrapes, and a loose tooth or two. He really had had his ass handed to him this time.

Was there anything more pathetic than losing to the rat yet again?

Could his life get any worse?

"Um... Kyo-niichan? I'm really, really, really sorry." She started tearing up.

Kyo sighed. "It's all right, Kisa. I'm not mad at you."

"Really?" Kisa, rat of the zodiac, looked at Kyo with watery eyes.

"Really." 'I am in hell.'


	11. Riddle

Title: Riddle

* * *

"Hey Hari, what's black and white and red all over?"

Hatori studiously ignored Momiji.

"So! Want to make a guess?"

"Not really."

"But you'll really want to know the answer."

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

Momiji nodded and grinned. "Ja! But it's more fun to make it a riddle."

Hatori, who had suffered years of insipid "knock knock" jokes from Ayame and Shigure disagreed, but kept that opinion to himself. "I give up, what's the answer?"

"It's Haru, after Kyo saw him flipping up To-ru's skirt."

Hatori signed and picked up his first-aid kit. "Teenagers," he muttered.


	12. Broken String

Title: **Broken String**

* * *

"It's not my fault!"

Kyo tried to pick up the bead. It eluded his clumsy grasp and dropped back to the floor.

"It's not my fault! The string just broke!"

This was much worse than when Akito took it, when Kagura took it. The string was broken. And he couldn't put it back together again.

Suddenly, the door opened. Kyo looked up fearfully.

She was covering her eyes. "Go into the bathroom and wait. I'll fix the bracelet. Then you can put it back on. Go... go now!"

Kyo left. 'But it's not my fault, Mom,' he dared not say.

* * *

Author's note: One of my rare serious drabbles. Sorry, I'll make sure that tomorrow's is funny.


	13. The Other Club

Title: The _Other_ Club

* * *

It was a nice day to walk to school, but Tohru frowned. "Yuki, you look worried. What's wrong?"

"I'm not looking forward to what's waiting ahead."

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"I mean that." Yuki pointed to the two figures in front of them.

"Kyo-kun? Naohito-san?"

Kyo cleared his throat. "On behalf of the 'Yuki Sohma ANTI-Fan Club…"

Kyo and Nao chanted in unison: "H! A! T! E! WE! HATE! YUKI! YUKI! YUKI! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hate! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hate!"

Tohru was stunned, while Yuki simply shook his head. Upset, Nao swore. "Dammit, we need to get more members. It looks stupid with just two."


	14. A Dog's Greetings

Title: A Dog's Greetings

* * *

"You see, Tohru-kun, it's the curse that gives us animal characteristics. You've seen Kyo-kun stalk off like an offended cat, right?"

"Th-that's true."

"And Momitchi is is hyper as a rabbit. So just remember, I'm not doing this for my pleasure... I'm just doing what dogs do."

"I.. see."

The door opened unexpectedly. "Hey, Tohru, sorry for intruding..." A pause followed. "Yo, Novelist. Explain why your face is in Tohru's butt." A lead pipe mysteriously appeared in Arisa's hands.

"Yes," intoned Saki, "And if your explanation is unsatisfactory, there are many things we can do about this situation."

Shigure whimpered.


	15. Monkey on his Back

Title: Monkey On His Back

* * *

"Yo."

Shigure twisted around to see who was speaking to him. "Ritsu? Is that you? What's with the sunglasses?"

The monkey of the zodiac smirked. "Sometimes, a guy wants to go incognito."

Shigure paused for a moment. "Ritsu, you're an annoying failure, and nobody likes you."

Ritsu shrugged. "_C'est la vie._ Your loss."

Shigure put down his pen and folded his arms. "Okay, you're not apologizing. What happened to you?" Suddenly, Shigure was hit by a bolt of realization. "...you got laid, didn't you?"

Ritsu grinned.

"Who was it?"

From behind Ritsu, Mitchan (also wearing sunglasses) appeared.

"Yo. Manuscript. Now."

* * *

Author's note: This one goes out to all of the Mitchan/Ritchan fans.


	16. Rewind, Fast forward

Title: Rewind/Fast Forward

* * *

"Hey, orangey! Why are you walking so weird today?"

--REWIND--

"You're not cursed anymore, Momiji-kun?"

The ex-rabbit grinned. Tohru fervently grabbed him by the shoulders. "Please! Tell me how to free Kyo!"

Momiji nodded. "What Kyo needs to do is..."

--FAST FORWARD--

"You want me to wear WHAT?"

"Women's underwear. Momiji says it's the reason he's free of the curse. So... I think Kyo-kun should try it, too."

Kyo groaned. How could she be so gullible? There's no way he would ever consider...

...Oh, crap. She was giving him The Look.

--BACK TO THE PRESENT--

"Shut the hell up, yankee."


	17. School Naptime

Title: School Naptime

* * *

"Hey, Yun-Yun!", Kakeru called out as he entered the student council office.

Kimi, following, poked her head in. "Where is he?"

"Nobody here... no, wait, it's Nao-kun!"

Nao slept by a table, his head cradled in his arms.

"Quiet. We don't want to wake him."

"Why not? He might know where Yun-Yun is."

Kimi smiled kindly.

"Look at him. He works so hard, he worries so much, and we never give him a break. He's finally peaceful now."

"So... can I draw on his face with your magic marker?"

"Only after I finish writing 'Mr. Grumpy-Pants' on his forehead."


	18. Manju

Title: Manju

* * *

Kyo sat.

There was little else to do in the cell. For nearly forty years, he had been sitting.

"Hey, uncle!"

Kyo started at the unexpected voice, which came from a tiny girl outside the bars on his window. "Want some manju?" The girl held the sweet as far as she could through the bars.

Kyo shuffled nervously. He wasn't used to strangers. "Don't you know who I am? You'll get cursed"

"You're the cat from the zodiac. Grandma told me about you."

Suddenly Kyo realized who the little girl looked like. She smiled luminously at him.

"I love cats!"

* * *

Note: Another of my rare serious drabbles. Manju are like sweet buns, usually filled with adzuki bean paste.


	19. A Girl Named Tohru

Title: A Girl Named Tohru

* * *

"Hey, Kyoko-san," Arisa asked one afternoon, "why'd you give your daughter a boy's name like 'Tohru', anyway?"

"Well," Kyoko looked thoughtfully, "I always considered the possibility that someone from my past might return and take me out, and that would leave Tohru all alone, you see."

Arisa nodded. Tohru looked uncomfortable. "Mom?"

"And if I gave her a boy's name, she'd get tough and be able to beat up all the people who would give her grief about it."

Kyoko and Arisa looked at Tohru, who smiled cheerfully at them.

"...so that plan failed horribly," Kyoko said. Arisa nodded in agreement.

* * *

Author's note: Yes, this story is based on the Shel Silverstein song "A Boy Named Sue" (made famous by Johnny Cash).


	20. The Mom with the Yellow Hat

**Title**: The Mom With The Yellow Hat

* * *

Four-year-old Ritsu tugged at his mother's sleeve. "May I have a story tonight?"

She smiled slightly, but spoke to her son firmly. "Only one story for you, and then it's bedtime, all right?"

"Yes, mother."

"What story would you like?"

"_Curious George_! That's my favorite story in the whole wide world!"

"Oh, so you want to hear the story about the monkey?"

Ritsu grinned widely. "Yes!"

Her visage suddenly became dark and forboding. "The terribly naughty monkey who **constantly gets into trouble?**"

"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY..."

* * *

Author's note: Thanks to everyone for reading, and thanks for so many enjoyable reviews!

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to be doing something a little different: it's "Crossover Week" at _A Basket of Drabbles_. _Furuba_ will be crossing over (or in some case fusing with) other shows. Some obscure, some popular. I hope you'll read them.

And once again, thanks for reading!


	21. A Mistake Anyone Could Make

Title: A Mistake Anyone Could Make

* * *

Ichigo Kurosaki cracked his knuckles over the punks cowering before him. "So, what did you mean to say?"

"We're very sorry!"

"And what are you going to do next?"

"Bring some new flowers here."

"All right. Now..."

Suddenly, a brunette blur gave Ichigo a tremendous uppercut. "Kyo, you bastard!"

The punks sat agog as Ichigo received a brutal beating. "How dare you stand me up on our date!"

"Who... the hell... are you?" Ichigo gasped out in the middle of being strangled.

Kagura stopped mid-throttle and looked closely at her victim. "Oops, thought you were someone else," she giggled cutely.

* * *

A crossover with the very first scene in the long-running series _Bleach_.


	22. Furudocha

Title: Furudocha

* * *

Kyo glared at Tohru coldly. "What, are you some kind of Angel of Mercy? Do you think you're going to 'save' me? You're going to solve all of my problems? You're going to fix what's broken inside of me?"

"Kyo-kun..."

"You stupid little girl! Leave me alone! Stay the hell away from me!" Kyo stomped furiously away.

Tohru was stunned for a little bit. "So that was his max anger..."

Then, with purpose, Tohru reached into her school bag and pulled out a brightly colored electronic device. She pressed on a button.

"Oh, Tohru's sweet mood goes up and down!"

END

* * *

Obviously a crossover with _Kodomo no Omocha_, aka _Kodocha_, aka _Child's Toy_: another great manga series that was turned into a great anime series by director Akitaro Daichi, who directed _Furuba_. And the English dub voices for Tohru and Kyo (Laura Bailey and Jerry Jewell) also play Sana and Akito! *heart*


	23. Animation Runner Mitsuru

Title: Animation Runner Mitsuru

* * *

Mitsuru knocked on the door of one of her more troublesome animators. "Kyo-san, are you there?"

"No. Go away."

"Kyo-san, the key animation cels are due today! I need to ship them overseas for in-betweening!"

"The courier doesn't pick them up until 4 p.m., right? I'll have them done by then."

"All right, I'll send the assistant producer here this afternoon to pick them up."

"...Assistant?"

"Kagura-san. You know her, right?"

"Did I say this afternoon? I can have the keys finished in 30 minutes!"

Mitsuru smiled. Compared to Shigure, handling all the other animators was a piece of cake.

END

* * *

Note: Another Akitaro Daichi anime crossover--_Animation Runner Kuromi_. A very fun and fast-paced show. Sorry, this one is probably a bit too obscure, too. One more obscure one tomorrow, then back to more well-known ones.


	24. Secret of the Lovely WHAAAAT?

Title: Secret of the Lovely WHAAAAT?

* * *

300. 300 years Shigure had been looking for Yagyu Jubei the second.

He constantly despaired at ever finding his beloved master's successor. Would he ever find the 'bonny, bum-bum, boom'?

Then, one day, he saw her. A statuesque beauty with long, black, wavy hair. He knew it. This was the second Jubei.

"Miss! Miss!" She turned around and looked at him with penetrating eyes.

"You," he gasped, "you are Yagyu Jubei."

"I am Saki Hanajima."

"You are heir to Yagyu Jubei! You must put on..." he whipped out a lacy garment, "...the lovely wonderbra!"

*ZAP*

300 years... going on 301.

END

* * *

And yet another Akitaro Daichi anime crossover. This time it's _Jubei-Chan the Ninja Girl: Secret of the Lovely Eyepatch_. A very funny show.


	25. Small World

Title: Small World

* * *

They didn't even notice each other passing by: the girl in the green dress and orange cat backpack and the boy in the yellow jersey with the headband and bamboo umbrella.

Not until she slipped on the pavement, sending her hurtling into his chest. *poof*

Causing him to drop his umbrella and get rained upon. *poof*

Two pigs, one brown and one black, sat stunned on the sidewalk.

The black one squealed. (Hey, are you Hatsuharu Sohma's cousin? Kagura's your name, right?)

The brown one spoke. "Yes. Hey, are you Akari Unryuu's boyfriend, Ryoga Hibiki?"

(Yeah.)

"So... small world, huh?"

* * *

Author's note: Crossover with _Ranma ½. _I figured that Kagura can communicate with pigs, so she'd be able to understand what P-chan is saying.


	26. Not So Gallant

Title: Not So Gallant

* * *

"Baa ram ewe,  
baa ram ewe,  
To your breed,  
your fleece,  
your clan be true,  
sheep be true,  
baa ram ewe."

The sheep listened in surprise.

Babe smiled. "Now ladies, please..."

"Hey."

Babe looked at the one dissenter. "Yes?"

"Why are you expecting us to do what you say because you recited a poem? Would you obey me if I said a limerick?"

"Uh..."

"And why assume that we're all women? I happen to be a male. That's pretty rude of you."

"I..."

Kyo walked up alongside Hiro and picked him up by his fleece. "That'll do, brat. That'll do."

* * *

Author's note: Crossover with _Babe_, of course. (Movie. I've never read the original novel.)

I hope you enjoyed crossover week (and sorry about it only being six days long, but that's all the crossovers I have, and I didn't have the inspiration to write a new one.) I'll be returning to "normal" (?) fanfiction tomorrow.


	27. Too Many Bonds

Title: Too Many Bonds

Author's note: This drabble was originally written as a challenge with the theme "Bonds." Most of the other drabbles on that challenge wrote about the bond of the Zodiac members with Akito, etc. This one took it in a slightly different direction.

* * *

Tohru's eyes sparkled. "You're wearing tuxedos! The five of you look so handsome!"

Momiji grinned and made a "V" sign. "Danke, To-ru. You and Kisa did a good job persuading these guys to help us out for the Cultural Festival."

"What are you doing, anyway?"

"Well, this is the 007 Café, so we're all dressed like James Bond. Kyo is the Sean Connery Bond, Yuki is Roger Moore, Haru is Pierce Brosnan, and I'm Timothy Dalton. Hiro is sulking because he has to be George Lazenby."

"I'm sulking because this is the stupidest pun ever," muttered Hiro fourth-wall-shatteringly.

* * *

Another author's note: This was written before the remake of _Casino Royale_, which is why Daniel Craig isn't in Momiji's list.


	28. Going Too Far

Title: Going Too Far

Author's note: Like the previous drabble, this one is about a "Bonds" challenge. But this one is way, way sillier.

* * *

Tohru was surprised to see Kyo... giddy.

"Wh-why are you so happy, Kyo-kun?"

"I've figured it out! I've figured out how I'm going to beat Yuki!"

"Oh, did you learn some special martial arts technique from Shishou-san?"

"No. I'm going to take steroids, like that baseball player, Barry B..."

The door suddenly sprang open.

"Excuse me, we're the pun police, and we've got a warrant out for the arrest of a 'Geoduck.'

"Ah, Mollusk-san? He's busy writing in Shigure's room."

"Thank you. I'm glad we stopped him now before he wrote drabbles about Gary U.S. Bonds, about bon-bons, the Bon-Marché..."

* * *

Author's note: I guess this is technically a self-insert, which I apologize for.


	29. Erin Go Braghless

Title: **Erin Go Bragh-less!**

Author's note: Written for a "travel" challenge.

* * *

"Mama, look what I found! A snake!"

"Nonsense, child, that's not a snake. Everyone knows that there are no snakes in Ireland."

"But it looks like one. What is it?"

"It looks like a worm to me. An extremely large wo..."

"Madam, HOW DARE YOU refer to me as a worm. It should be obvious that not only am I a snake, but a spectacular specimen of one. Furthermore..."

*poof*

"Uh, could I trouble you for a towel or washcloth or something? It is a bit drafty in here, ha ha."

Ayame was deported back to Japan within a week.


	30. Highland Fling

Title: **Highland Fling**

Author's note: Another "travel" challenge.

* * *

"Hey, brat, do you know why the Scots wear kilts?"

Hiro sighed. "Gee, Kyo, I don't know. Why don't you tell me, if you're so smart?"

"Because sheep can hear zippers!" Kyo roared with laughter while Hiro looked disgusted.

Kisa tapped Hiro's shoulder. "Hiro-chan, what does that mean?"

"I'm confused too," said Tohru, seated next to Kyo.

Kyo smirked. "I'll explain it to you two."

"No, you won't, you stupid cat!" screeched Hiro.

"We are now making our final approach to Edinburgh International Airport," came the announcement over the airplane's intercom.

It was going to be a long two weeks.


	31. A Trip to Pismo Beach

Title: **A Trip to Pismo Beach**

Author's note: And yet another "travel" challenge.

* * *

"Are we at the Grand Canyon yet?

"No. And stop complaining, Kyo."

"Why should I, rat? We've been driving forever."

"If you hadn't noticed, the USA is an incredibly huge country. It takes time to get places."

"Yeah... especially if Shigure gets us lost. Sheesh, we'd have done better if Haru was driving."

Momiji popped up in the back seat. "Did somebody say we're lost?"

Everyone groaned. "Please, Momiji, you've said it about a hundred times. Could you stop saying it already?"

Momiji, ignoring them, affected a Brooklyn accent. "I knew we should have taken that left toin at Albuquerque!"


	32. A Dream Within a Dream

Title: **A Dream Within A Dream**

Challenge: Dreams

* * *

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said, 'Here's the rest of my manuscript.'"

"But I was expecting just the next 90 pages today."

"I was inspired, so I finished it."

"This... this isn't some kind of joke, is it? It had better not be one of your games."

"No jokes, no games."

"If you're teasing me, I'll..."

He caressed her cheek. "Why would I tease the woman I love, Mit-chan?" He leaned forward to capture her lips.

Mitsuru woke up with a start.

"That... was a dream?" she wailed.

She punched a pillow. "What did I do to deserve these nightmares?"

* * *

Author's Note: The title comes from Poe. I just wanted something literary-sounding.


	33. Dirty

Title: Dirty

Comment: This was inspired by manga chapter 97 (although there are no real spoilers to speak of.)

* * *

I have to wash my hands after I touch you.

It's not a habit or a ritual, it's just natural.

It's instinctual to wash your hands when they feel dirty. And they do feel dirty when I touch you.

I wonder if other parts of me would feel dirty if they touched you. I'll bet that they would.

Do you feel dirty when I touch you? You, monster? You disgusting creature? You... Kyo?

Yes, I'm talking to you. Do I make you feel dirty?

Answer my question, Kyo.

Yes or no?

Oh?

Really?

Then...

Let's make each other feel dirty...

* * *

To answer a question that was asked in one of the reviews: I currently have about 25 more of these stories to post: of course, by the time I'll have posted those, I might have written a few more.

Thanks for all of your reviews! If you like these drabbles, I hope you give my other stories a chance--most of them are goofy comedy, but I also have a few serious ones as well.


	34. I Wish I Could Fly

Title: I Wish I Could Fly

* * *

As far as he knew, Kureno was the only zodiac member who didn't mind his cursed form.

Didn't mind? He loved being a bird: he could **fly**.

Through the air. Above the main house's roof. Past the walls!

He loved the feeling of being lifted by the breezes. Of going in any direction. Of pure freedom!

...uh oh.

He knew he was just about to transform back. He dove down: must reach the ground beforehand!

Almost there... he aimed for a place that looked soft...

* * *

"Chieko, the Sohma boy is naked in the gardenias again."

"Okay, I'll get the camera."

* * *

Author's note: Apparently this vignette must take place before the beginning of the series, because of *spoiler*.


	35. The Curse is Broken

Title: The Curse is Broken

* * *

Kyo was surprised to see that Tohru was crying, but with a smile on her face.

"Kyo! Kyo, the curse is broken! It's broken!"

"It's... broken?" He stood completely still, as if stunned. If the curse was broken then he could... then she could... then they could...

Resolved, he walked over to Tohru and embraced her tightly. "Tohru, I..."

*poof*

"What the hell? Why did I turn into a cat?"

"Uh... because you hugged me?"

"But I thought you said the curse was broken."

"Oh dear... Kyo, didn't I ever mention to you that I was a Red Sox fan?"

* * *

Author's note: this story was written immediately after the Red Sox won the World Series for the first time in 86 years back in 2004.


	36. Accidents Will Happen

Title: **Accidents Will Happen**

* * *

"Oh Haaaaa-saaaan."

"Hmm?"

"Akito just said something odd to me. She said 'Do I know you?'"

"Really?"

"Also, I heard a rumor."

"What?"

"Supposedly, Akito was furious at Tohru, and had asked you to erase the girl's memory."

"Is that so?"

"But Tohru seems perfectly fine, memories completely intact."

"Really?"

"And yet Akito, who has known me all of her life, doesn't recognize me."

"How odd."

"Yes, it's almost as if **someone** erased **Akito's** memory instead."

Hatori closed his book. "You know I would never disobey the head of the family."

Shigure nodded.

"But," Hatori smirked imperceptibly, "accidents will happen."


	37. Keep Perfectly Clam

Title: Keep Perfectly Clam

Warning: Very bad puns ahead

* * *

Kyo wandered into the kitchen where Tohru was humming a happy tuna.

"What's up?"

"Kyo-kun! I'm just making some riceballs."

"Not leek?" Kyo asked suspiciously.

No, that one time was just a fluke. Today I'm making them with different kinds of fish. Most are pretty good but one of them really smelt."

Kyo covered his eyes. "Oh, cod."

Tohru offered one to him. "I call this one the Motown riceball because it has lots of sole."

Kyo groaned. "What possessed you to do this?"

"Just for the halibut. Want to help me?"

"Not tonight, Tohru... I've got a haddock."


	38. Birth of a Goal

Title: **Birth of a Goal**

There is a distinct lack of Ritsu fics in **Furuba** fandom. This is an attempt of mine to rectify that situation.

* * *

"I'm scared, Kagura-chan."

"Don't be scared."

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE SCARED!"

Kagura sighed. Ritchan really made a person learn patience. "If my dress makes you feel better, then wear it."

"But... what if I look ridiculous?"

"Be bold."

Ritsu jumped in surprise. "Aya-niisan!"

"Yes, Ritchan, be bold and be beautiful. 'Beauty is truth', and it is time you let those around you see the truth. Tear down their expectations of what a boy is supposed to look like. Destroy their senses of propriety."

Ritsu looked at him with admiration. 'Someday, I'm going to be just like him.'


	39. Meeting the Parents

Title: Meeting the Parents

* * *

"Meeting the parents" is always awkward... especially for Ritsu Sohma.

Seen objectively, the visit was wonderful. Mitsuru's parents were very kind.

But then, Mitsuru stepped out a moment. Ritsu felt terrified.

Mitsuru's mother smiled. "Would you like to see some old photos of Mitsuru, Sohma-san?"

"Yes, thank you."

As he looked, he was puzzled. "Is this Mitsuru-san's brother?"

Her mother smiled. "No. In school, Mitsuru was such a tomboy, she wore a boy's uniform."

"MOTHER!" screeched the returning editor, "Don't show him **those!**"

Crying joyful tears, Ritsu held Mitsuru's hands between his own. "We **are** just alike! I knew it!"


	40. Challenge

Title: Challenge

* * *

"Yuki... today is the day I defeat you."

Yuki looked heavenwards. "Please, God, let him be right so that he will finally leave me the hell alone."

"Shut up, rat. I challenge you to..."

* * *

Shigure bowed theatrically to the audience of Tohru and the younger Sohmas. "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the first annual Sohma Iron Chef challenge! Today, Yuki, Iron Chef 'Charcoal' will take on Kyo, Iron Chef 'Adequate'."

Kyo grinned. There was **no way** he could lose to Yuki in a **cooking** contest.

"Whose cuisine will reign supreme? Today's theme ingredient is... leeks!"

Well, maybe there was **one** way.


	41. No Hope

Title: No Hope

* * *

It had been a vigorous workout. Kyo was resting on the floor of Kazuma's dojo.

"I hear that the second anniversary of Tohru's mother's death just passed."

Kyo tensed. "What of it?"

"Nothing."

Kyo's tension was not relieved. "I didn't go."

"Pardon?"

"To her grave. I didn't go with Tohru."

"I see. Why not?"

"She already knows."

"I beg your pardon?"

"She's bright and cheerful and happy right now, because she knows that her future is lonely. She knows that she's going to lose everything she's ever loved."

Kyo could never hurt Kazuma physically, but his words cut deeply indeed.

* * *

Author's note: May be the darkest vignette I ever wrote. I promise that tomorrow will be a comedy.


	42. Cosplay Cafe

Cosplay Cafe

Warning: Groanworthy pun ahead

* * *

"You'll help us, right Toru?"

Tohru was just about to cheerfully assent when Kyo grumped in. "It's the annoying one again. What do you want, squirt?"

"Kyo! Hey, guess what, guess what? For the culture fest, our class is doing a cosplay cafe, and Toru's going to help us!"

"Cosplay? Are you going to do that weird stuff, Tohru?"

"No, Momiji just asked me to help with the coffee."

"Hey, Kyo, aren't you going to ask me what my costume is?"

"Is there any way to stop you from telling me?"

"I'm going to be Lapin the Third!" Momiji smirked.

* * *

Author's note: Today completes the sixth week of daily updates to A Basket of Drabbles. Thanks for all the reviews and thanks for reading! To respond to one review: yes, this story is love. I love _Furuba_ and I love all of the _Furuba_ characters, and I've made an effort to write as many of the characters as possible--although I guess I still haven't written a Ren fic yet. Or Mayu-chan-sensei. Or a couple more.

I still have a couple of weeks' worth of stories still to be posted, but as I get closer to the bottom of my pile o' drabbles, I may switch to more infrequent posting: maybe twice a week instead of daily.

So in case this story stops being updated as often: it's not that I'm dead--it's just that I've slowed down.

Once again, thanks for reading!


	43. O Tannenbaum

Title: O Tannenbaum

* * *

Tohru knotted her brows in frustration. "I don't understand. What is happening?"

Kyo looked in. "What? Something wrong with the Christmas tree?"

"Yes, and I can't figure it out. The tree is dying, like someone poured salt water on it."

"What's that smell?"

"I'm not sure. I can't place it."

"I can. It smells like dog pee."

"But why would a dog come inside here and relieve itself on our tree?"

Shigure wandered down. "Hmm? What's the commotion, Tohru-kun? Ah, taking care of the beautiful and ever-so-convenient tree, are you?"

Kyo clenched his fist. "You sick..."

Violence followed.


	44. Fighting Fate

Title: Fighting Fate

* * *

Yuki and Kyo faced each other. The other Sohmas surrounded them watching intently. This was to be the final battle, the one that would determine Kyo's fate.

Kyo stepped forward...

...and slipped on a banana peel, causing him to land on his rear. He groaned and hung his head down.

"Kyo," Shigure spoke, "in single combat with the rat, you have lost. You know what this means."

Kyo stayed stubbornly silent.

"It means that Yuki gets the bedroom near the bath, and you have to take the one at the end of the hall."

"No fair! I call do-overs!"


	45. Stop Hogging

Title: Stop Hogging!

* * *

"KYOOOOOOO-KUUUUUUUN!!!!"

"Oh, good, Kagura-san has come to visit," Tohru smiled.

Shigure scratched his head. "But now that you and Kyo are a couple, doesn't it bother you how Kagura chases him?"

"No, it's just her way."

"It doesn't bug you when she hugs and kisses him?"

"N-not really."

"Hey, look! She's groping his crotch!"

"…WHAT?"

In a blur of motion, Tohru ran to Kagura and took a mighty swing (while yelling "Right straight!"), sending the older girl flying.

Later, Yuki wandered into the house where Hatori was treating Kagura's injuries.

"What happened to her?"

Shigure snickered. "She's sick. Swine flew."

* * *

Author's note: This was written in 2005, well before the current Swine Flu scare. (I actually wrote a _Ranma ½_-based fanfic about the current H1N1 pandemic: It's called _Hamthrax_.)


	46. Finicky Feline

Title: Finicky Feline

* * *

Yuki held the bowl out. "Tohru made leeks. Eat some now."

Kyo bristled. "Like hell I will!"

"Please, it's okay if Kyo doesn't want any," Tohru nervously babbled.

Yuki ignored her. "Stupid cat. Take one."

"No."

"Take one."

"No!"

"Take one right now."

"No! I don't want to take a leek. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever. I don't want to take another leek for the rest of my life!"

"Well... in that case, Kyo, maybe you shouldn't have so much to drink," Tohru added helpfully.

And for the first time ever, both boys were at a loss for words.

* * *

Author's note: Slowly but surely, I'm reaching the bottom of my pile o' drabbles. I want to write more, but it's sometimes so hard to get inspired. If you wanted to, you could help me out by going to my brand-new Furuba forum (click to my author's profile page--the link to the forum is included there) and giving me a challenge. I promise I will try as hard as I can to turn your challenges into drabbles. Thanks, and as always, thanks for reading!


	47. Tohrukun

Title: Tohru-kun

This story was written for a "gender-switch" challenge. For the purpose of the challenge, I switched only Tohru's sex.

* * *

Saki looked coolly at the Sohma men. "If we had found that this was not a suitable environment for our Tohru, there are many things we could have done to remedy that. Yes, many things indeed."

Kyo, while cowed, predictably snapped at the wave girl: "Oh yeah? What's he to you, anyway?"

Arisa and Saki fixed Kyo with a stare. "What is he to us?" Arisa asked threateningly.

"I will tell him, Arisa. Kyo Sohma: you want to know what Tohru is to us?"

Kyo paled at Saki's demeanor. Yuki and Shigure stepped backwards in fear.

"He is our **boytoy**."

* * *

I've had quite a few ideas for gender-switch stories... for some reason, they all end up with (female) Hana and Uo sexually harassing poor (male) Tohru.


	48. Fun Girl for a Fun Guy

Title: Fun Girl for a Fun Guy

* * *

"The fabrics.. the yarns.. everything is so pretty here!"

Kagura grinned. "I told you you'd love it, Tohru-kun. This is my favorite sewing store."

Admiring one bolt of cloth, Tohru gasped at the price. "That much?"

"Yeah," Kagura sighed. "You have to pay a lot to get the best."

"But how does Kagura-san afford it? Do you have a part-time job? Do you get an allowance from your parents?"

"No. I actually have a small business. There are things I can find that some restaurants pay a lot of money for."

"What things?"

"Well... nobody knows the truffles I've seen."

* * *

(Yeah, and now you can see that the title is a pun as well.)


	49. Year of the Cat

Title: **Year of the Cat**

* * *

Kyo scowled as he stalked the corridor. "I don't believe you."

Yuki, on his left, shrugged. "Believe it or not, it's true."

"No... freaking... way. You're lying."

Hatsuharu, on the right, smirked. "He really isn't."

"You're telling me that the New Year's Dance is a **striptease**? Do I look that gullible?"

Smiling innocently, Yuki and Hatsuharu opened the double doors to the banqueting hall.

"Shake your moneymaker, Kyo-kun!" squealed Kagura.

"Yes, by all means, take it off, Kyonkichi-kun!"

"I... I wanna see Kyo-oniichan naked," blushed Kisa hotly.

"Remind me **why** I wanted to get accepted by this family," Kyo groused.

* * *

Author's note: In time I have come to learn the ultimate mathematical equation of comedy. Nudity = Comedy gold.


	50. Graduation Day

Title: Graduation Day

* * *

Motoko wiped a tear away. It had been a beautiful graduation. She smiled at the bouquet the PriYuki girls had given her. Lovely.

True, it was heartbreaking to say goodbye to Yuki-kun, but it had gone so well. She expressed her feelings and departed from him on such good terms.

And then, Naohito-kun's farewell was just as sweet. She felt how Yuki-kun must have felt when she confessed to him. Naohito-kun deserved to find a kind girlfriend.

Surely nothing could ruin this wonderful day.

"Minagawa-kun! I, graduating former president Makoto Takei hereby declare my romantic intentions toward you!"

...almost nothing.

* * *

FIFTY CHAPTERS! Yay! (True, it's not as hard to write fifty chapters when they are only 100 words long apiece, but still!)


	51. Umbrella

Title: Umbrella

* * *

"No umbrella, Yunyun?"

Unfortunately for Yuki, the door was open and Manabe spoke loudly.

"_Yuki-kun... no umbrella?_" "_**I**__ have an umbrella._" "_We'll walk and hold hands..._" "_Oh blessed umbrella of love!_" Yuki paled. The PriYuki girls had heard!

"Machi's got one. She'd **love** to walk arm-in-arm with you underneath it."

Embarrassed, Machi flung the umbrella at Manabe. It missed and struck the wall and tore.

Yuki examined the broken umbrella. "Well, I guess we're stuck here until it stops raining, Kuragi-san. Do you mind waiting with me that long?"

"No." She tried to look irritated, but a tiny smile escaped.

**

* * *

Note**: This was one of the toughest drabbles I've ever written. The first draft had 180 words, and it was almost torture to get it down to 100.


	52. Terpsichore

Title: Terpsichore

* * *

"Remind me again why I'm doing this," Kyo grumbled, looking around.

"Well, dance lessons are something we can all do together as a group **and** as couples," Tohru smiled. And indeed, except for the single Kagura and Momiji (who decided to dance together), all the zodiac members were there with their preferred romantic partners.

"So, uh," Yuki asked, "what dance are we going to learn tonight?"

Ritsu tentatively held up a hand: "How about 'The Monkey'?"

"'The Pony'," said Rin, dismissively.

"Let's learn 'The Bunny Hop'", Momiji called out.

"Boy, **that** was a punchline nobody could see coming," snarked Hiro.

* * *

Thanks to DeFaUlT rAiN for the drabble challenge (the theme was "Dancing Class.") And the day after tomorrow, I will post my second response to that same challenge!

Remember, if you want to give me a drabble challenge, go to my profile page, and follow the link in my bio.


	53. The Red Caterpillar

Title: The Red Caterpillar

* * *

Wanting a snack, Shigure entered the kitchen, but was shocked to see, on the floor...

"Yuki? What happened?" The 'prince' was on his back, covered with his own blood. "Who did this to you? Kyo?"

Yuki barely whispered, "Tohru."

Shigure heard Kyo's scream from the main room, rushed in, and found the cat in a similar state. "T-torhu," he moaned.

Shigure looked up and saw, flanked by her friends, the girl in full Yankee mode. Long coat, chest wrapped in cotton, no blouse. Her face was blushing bright red. 'Come to think of it, the blood was probably from nosebleeds...'

* * *

I originally wrote an introduction to this, but the story was running way too long, and I knew there was no way I could get to exactly 100 words if I included it. So I'm going to cheat and include the original introduction to this story:

"Uo-chan, Hana-chan, I'm so happy the two of your are spending the night here with me! So, what do you want to do?"

Arisa smirked. "What do we always do? It's make-over time, Tohru."

"Eh? You mean me?"

"Yes, Tohru-kun," Saki said quietly. "We will make you a Tohru-kun, the likes of which has never been seen before."

"EEEHHHH?!"

* * *

By the way, this was also the answer to a drabble challenge. This challenge came from frequent reviewer FadingNoctis. Thanks, and hope you enjoyed the story!

Remeber, if you want to challenge me: go to my author's profile page, and click on the link in my profile. Thanks!


	54. Waltz of the Flowers

Title: Waltz of the Flowers

* * *

Mayuko and Hatori waltzed across the floor. She was thankful she had convinced him to take ballroom dancing lessons. Though Ayame annoyed her, that his wedding reception would feature formal dancing was a godsend.

Suddenly there was a hand on his arm. "May I cut in," smirked Shigure.

Mayuko grimaced. She did not want this. But, to be polite, she turned towards Shigure, releasing Hatori.

"No, I mean I want to cut in with Ha-san, not you, Mayu-chan."

Hatori and Mayuko continued waltzing, as Shigure was doubled over from the teacher having slugged him in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

And this was the second response to DeFaUlT rAiN's "Dancing Class" challenge. Thanks for the challenge, DeFaUlT rAiN! This was a lot of fun to write. And hey, I finally included Mayuko in one of my stories!


	55. Ren Hoeksama

Title: Ren Hoek-sama

* * *

Shigure lay on top of the covers as Ren inexpertly massaged his back. True, their relationship was not based on love, affection, or even friendliness. Frankly, they hated each other. But he did enjoy touching and being touched intimately by a woman.

She leaned over and blew in his ear. "Oh, lover..."

"Hmm...?"

"Remember what you promised me in exchange for free sex. You promised to steal Akira's box from Akito and give it to me, right?"

Shigure rolled over. "Huh? Did I promise that?"

Ren's expression went from seductive to furious. "Shigure, you eediot! You bloated sack of protoplasm!"

* * *

Hope this wasn't too obscure. Google "Ren and Stimpy" if you're stumped.

And, I'm sorry to say, this will be my last daily update for awhile. I'm going to start adding new chapters twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Of course, if I were to build up a huge backlog of stories again, I'd be able to go back to daily updates. So please, give me challenges! I can't promise that I will write a drabble for every challenge, but I promise that I will **try**. To give me a challenge, go to my author's profile page: I've got a link to my challenge page in my profile.

Thanks, and see you Tuesday!


	56. Happy Birthday to Me

Title: Happy Birthday to Me

* * *

"Good morning, Kazuma-san."

"Hanajima-san? This is... uh, a bit of a surprise."

"Oh, is this an awkward situation?"

"Not to be impolite, but... yes, it is."

"I apologize then, but I have an important message for you."

"Do you?"

"Yes. Today is my birthday."

"Well, happy birthday, Hanajima-san."

"Legally-speaking, I am now an adult."

"Congratulations."

"Indeed. So there are no legal, moral, or ethical reasons why you shouldn't have your carnal way with my body right now."

"Which is why you've crawled into my bed?"

"Correct."

"What about **my** consent?"

She started unbuttoning his pajama tops. "A trivial detail."

* * *

Author's note: I'm not really sure if I think the Hanajima/Kazuma pairing is a good idea or not... but I do know that a lustful Hana-chan + uncomfortable Kazuma equals comedy.


	57. The Next Dr Seuss

Title: The Next Dr. Seuss

* * *

"**You** wrote a children's book?"

"Of course. I'm an established novelist, so it'll be a huge seller."

"I'm not worried about sales. I'm worried about getting fired, sued, arrested, and having our presses destroyed by angry mobs."

"Nonsense, Mitchan. Just read it! It's an adorable story about a girl who likes to cook."

"_Magical Cook Lulu-chan_?"

"You'll love it."

Mitsuru reluctantly began. "'Once, there was a little girl named Lulu. She loved her mommy and daddy, and she especially loved sausages. Big, plump, succulent sausages.'"

Shigure's mirth was ill-concealed.

"I **will** kill you someday," Mitsuru growled. "Someday very, very soon."


	58. How They Met

Title: How They Met

* * *

Lightning illuminated the room for the briefest moment. In the darkness, Kyoko lay on her futon, listening to the rolling thunder.

Sometimes, she had to comfort Tohru during thunderstorms, but not tonight.

Another flash. Kyoko listened for the thunder, but heard instead a faint mewling.

"A cat. One of the neighbors'?"

Soon, Kyoko got up. Picking up an umbrella near the door, she left the apartment and went down to the building's entrance. Quickly, she saw the sodden orange kitten.

She scooped him up and held him at eye level. "You know, pal, you're really lucky my daughter loves cats."

* * *

Author's note: Not a humorous fic, but I was aiming more for 'kyoot' than dramatic this time.


	59. Shigure's Psychological Tactics

Title: Shigure's Psychological Tactics

* * *

It was time for their date, but Akito was throwing a tantrum. "Stop asking me to wear dresses when we go out! I'm not comfortable wearing them!"

"Okay."

Of all of Shigure's possible reactions to her diva behavior, Akito was not expecting instant acceptance. "Okay?"

"It's fine with me if you want to wear men's clothes. People might think I'm gay, but that doesn't bother me."

"It doesn't?"

"Sure," smirked Shigure. "Everyone knows that beautiful women constantly throw themselves and try to seduce men they think are gay."

"I changed my mind. I'll wear it." Akito grabbed the dress. "...Jerk."


	60. The Rhythm Section

Title: The Rhythm Section

Author's note: This story is set in a projected future in which Hiro, Kisa, and Megumi all go to the same high school. You just **know** it's inevitable.

* * *

Hiro couldn't relax after lunch: he was nervous about Megumi's expression. 'He's gonna say something weird.'

The dark-eyed boy set down his juice and spoke deliberately. "Let's start a band."

Kisa was puzzled. "A band? Why?"

"Because we are all musically talented. Hiro-san plays the piano." True. "And Kisa-san is an excellent singer." Also true. "And I... am an expert... tambourinist."

'Are you STUPID?' Hiro wanted to scream, but Kisa spoke first. "What a great idea? We should do it!"

It was an insane, humiliating idea. And the worst part was, since Kisa wanted it, Hiro couldn't say no.

* * *

Another challenge drabble! (As are the next several). This challenge came from ChipsAhoyPop, the challenge is "Band", and this story is the first of two I've written on the subject. The second one will be appearing in a couple of weeks.

If you want to give me a challenge of your own, click to my author's profile page, where there's a link to my challenge forum. I love challenges! Thanks!


	61. Ayame's White Wedding

Title: Ayame's White Wedding

* * *

"I wanted a western-style wedding, but Mine-kun wanted Shinto, so why not both?"

Hatori sipped his tea and let Ayame soliloquize.

"In the western ceremony, Mine-kun and I will naturally be wearing white. I **wanted** to wear a dress, but Mine convinced me a morning coat would be better for contrast."

"..."

"Since, of course, all of the groomsmen will be in white dresses."

"...wait, what?"

"Hadn't I mentioned it already? Oh bother. But I'm certain that you and Shigure will be resplendent in... Ha-san? Your face is scaring me... Ha-san? HA-SAN?"

After negotiations, Ayame let Hatori wear a suit.

* * *

The challenge for this one came from FadingNoctis, and the challenge was "Wedding." Thanks, FadingNoctis!


	62. Hatori's not a fish, but

Title: Hatori's not a fish, but he drink like one

* * *

Ayame's graduation party for Yuki was going full-swing. Yuki was even having a good time in spite of himself.

Hatsuharu leaned over and whispered, "Your brother and sensei are trying to get Hatori drunk."

"We should stop them," Yuki whispered back. "Have you ever seen Hatori drunk?"

"No. You?"

"No."

"I'm actually curious to see what it'll be like. Let's watch."

It didn't take long. Hatori slammed his glass down, rose to his full height, and with an imperious look that demanded silence...

...began singing. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy..."

Nobody ever spoke of it again.

* * *

The challenge for this drabble was "Drunk escapades" from PocketxFullxOfxDreams. Thanks for the challenge, I hope you liked the story!


	63. Before the Reunion

Title: Before the Reunion

* * *

"Thanks for coming along, Asuka. It's awkward by myself: most of my relatives are married, and when I'm alone, I can feel their pity, which I hate."

"Especially, Tohru. She was my first real love. But I was just a crazy little boy to her. And she loved my cousin. And now she's a mother."

"For a long time after, I felt desperate. Would I find anyone who loves me?"

"But you can't find someone who loves you. You can only find someone you love." He gently took her hand. "So, I have to tell you: I love you, Asuka."

* * *

This one was kind of unusual to write, as, except for one sentence, it's all monologue. I hope I made it obvious enough who was speaking, since I never mentioned Momiji's name in the story.

This was a challenge fic, based on the challenge "I love you" from Ebony Dagger. Thanks for the challenge! If you want to give me a challenge of your own, click to my author's profile page, where there's a link to my challenge forum.


	64. The Blossom Brothers

Title: The Blossom Brothers

* * *

For once, Shigure and Ayame were quiet together--when a thought came to them both.

Ayame's face lit up. "The band!"

Shigure's expression was identical. "The band!"

Both together with thumbs raised: "The band! Yeah!"

Akito was puzzled. "Band? What... mmph!" The family head was jerked from sitting by Shigure's hand as the dog ran them from the room.

Soon, the three arrived at Hatori's office.

Ayame knocked, and Hatori opened the door.

"We're getting the band back together," said Ayame.

"We're on a mission from god," Shigure pointed to Akito.

Hatori slammed the door and Akito clubbed Shigure simultaneously.

* * *

The title, and much of the dialogue comes from the movie "The Blues Brothers."

This was my second answer to ChipsAhoyPup's "Band" challenge. Thanks for the challenge, I hope you liked the result!


	65. It's Just a Little Bunny

Title: **It's Just a Little Bunny**

* * *

Kyo had gotten the worst of it, with bruises, scrapes, and bloody nose, but Yuki had not gone untouched; his left arm was injured and unusuable. An unconscious Hatsuharu lay nearby.

Momiji looked up at Tohru. "Want me to stop the fight?"

The crying girl didn't answer, so he quickly hugged her and transformed. He leaped, first at Kyo, then Yuki, then Hatsuharu, biting into each of their jugulars in turn.

Momiji transformed back, blood running down his naked body. He gloated, "Death awaits you with nasty big pointy teeth!"

Tohru woke up sobbing. "I never should have watched that movie!"

* * *

Author's note for the mystified: It's a _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ reference.


	66. Where the Elite Meet to Eat Meat

Title: Where the elite meet to eat meat

* * *

Yuki waved to his friends. "Hi, Komaki-san, Kakeru."

Startled, Komaki turned towards him. "Yuki-san?" She glared at Kakeru. "You invited him?"

"Because I'm proud of you!" He put an arm around her and held up a v-sign. "Komaki is totally going to win the Yakiniku eating contest. Go, Meat Angel!" The girl blushed madly.

Yuki left Komaki alone to clobber her boyfriend in peace, but saw another familiar face in the crowd. "Honda-san? You're here?"

"Yuki-kun! Did you come to cheer Uo-chan in the Yakiniku eating contest?"

Yuki paled. Hanajima-san versus Komaki-san in competitive eating?

This would not end well.

* * *

This one is an answer to a challenge from Sandra Chang: the challenge was "Eating Contest". Hope you enjoyed!


	67. Not Good Enough for Him

Title: Not Good Enough for Him

* * *

"Who's a little cutie? It's you!" Kagura rubbed her nose against the baby's, who smiled and gurgled. "Satsuki-san, Hinata-chan is cuter every day."

Satsuki smiled. "Isn't she? She's our super-idol here."

"And so cuddly! Kisa, you hold her too."

"Yes." Kisa received the baby from Kagura and smiled.

"She's so friendly. Hiro's her favorite, though."

"She loves her niichan?"

"Yes. She's going to have a brother complex someday. She'll probably be jealous of you, Kisa-chan."

"Me?"

"Sure. When she finds out about Hiro-chan's crush on you..."

"OW!" Hinata had pulled Kisa's hair. And was the baby glaring at her?

Couldn't be...


	68. I Wanna Be a Blood Donor!

Title: I wanna be a blood donor!

* * *

"I just finished reading _Twilight_ yesterday. I loved it!"

"Doesn't it make you wish vampires really existed?"

"Oh yeah. A mysterious clan of sexy vampires who..." She paused. "Wait a sec... Doesn't that remind you of..."

"The Sohmas? But that just couldn't be..."

"But imagine if Yuki-sempai, Kyo-sempai and Haru-kun..."

The girls imagined. And drooled.

"Look, there's Kyo-sempai! I'm going to talk to him!"

"What about?"

She shushed her friend and walked over to Kyo. "Kyo-sempai? I've got a question."

"Eh?"

"Do you... like garlic?"

"Garlic? Hell no, I hate it!"

Both girls instantly flushed and squealed. "OH MY GOD!"

* * *

Author's note: I apologize for not posting Friday's story! I usually post these in the morning before I leave, but I was in a bit of a rush that day and didn't have time. I was going to post it during lunch hour, but I didn't get a chance to--things were busy. And then, by the time I got home, I had totally forgotten!

My pile o' stories is almost gone, so I'm going to have to go into writing mode again. Thanks for everyone who's given me a challenge!

This, by the way, is an answer to Ebony Dagger's challenge of "vampire". Thanks for the challenge, Ebony Dagger, I hope you liked it!


	69. First kiss

Title: First Kiss

* * *

"Chibi-chan!"

I ignored her. It's Kimi's graduation, and I never have to see her again.

Suddenly, she tackled me from behind. "Chibi-chan! Did you fall down?"

"NO! I! DIDN'T!"

"Never mind. I wanted to say goodbye."

"Goodby-mff!" My farewell stopped with Kimi KISSED ME? And... GRABBED MY BUTT? Is that her TONGUE IN MY MOUTH?

Things went hazy. Sometime later, I was on the grass, looking skyward.

"I couldn't leave without taking Chibi's 'kiss virginity.'" Her voice went sultry. "If you want me to take your **other** virginity," she smirked, "call me."

...Now I have no idea what to do.

* * *

Author's note: Oh, Naohito! Will you ever win?

This one was so much fun to write that I think I am going to expand it into a four- or five-chapter standalone story. It might be awhile, however, so I hope this satisfies you for now.

This was my answer to Ebony Dagger's "kiss" challenge. Hope you liked it!


	70. Kakeru Cuts the Cheese

Title: Kakeru Cuts the Cheese

* * *

Student Council was boring. Yuki gazed at Kakeru.

He stopped. 'Why the hell am I looking at Manabe?'

'There's something fascinating about him today.'

'Whaaaaaaat? But it's Manabe, world's most annoying person. Plus, I'M NOT GAY!'

'It's magnetic. I must get closer.' Yuki scooted his chair nearer.

'AM I INSANE?' Yuki slapped himself.

'B-b-but I just wanna be with him.'

'AAAAAARGH!'

Kakeru grinned. "Kyo said I should put this in my pocket." He held up a wedge of Camembert. "Here's his note. Thanks for the show, cheesophile."

'This is for the catnip, asshole.' Yuki crumpled the note. "This means war."

* * *

This is a sort-of sequel to my fic "Side Effects" (which might be my personal favorite of my stories).


	71. Kagura on the Wing

Title: Kagura on the Wing

Warnings: It only makes sense if you are familiar with the multiple references it makes to a certain 1970's rock album

* * *

Hiro practiced in the otherwise empty dojo. He aimed a kick at an imaginary opponent. "That'll make the bugger's eyes water."

The door slid open. "Pardon the intrusion... oh, it's just you, Hiro-chan. I didn't know you were taking lessons from Shihan."

"I intend to master the art of karate. Wow, you've really let yourself go since Kyo dumped you. Big fat... ha ha, charade you are."

Kagura glared.

Hiro shrugged. "Hey, I'm just saying that you don't want to end up like Shigure: a sad, old man."

"...dying of cancer?" A pause. "I have no idea why I said that."

* * *

Author's note: Okay, this is probably the most obscure story I ever wrote. The lyrics make multiple references to the album 'Animals' by Pink Floyd. 'Animals' is based on the premise that all people can be divided into three groups: Dogs, Pigs, and Sheep. So why not write a fic featuring Shigure, Kagura, and Hiro? Or that's my excuse, anyway.


	72. How Hatori Got a Black Eye in Okinawa

Title: How Hatori got a black eye in Okinawa

* * *

Mayuko lay on her back in the shallow surf, her head on the sand.

"You came all the way down to Okinawa, but you won't swim?"

Hatori stood barefoot in the waves, watching her. "Not my thing."

"You're a real stick-in-the-mud. You're lucky a gorgeous babe like me hangs out with you."

"Wave."

"Huh?" Suddenly, Mayuko was gasping water as the big wave receded. Milliseconds after that, she noticed that the wave had made her bikini top loose. She quickly covered herself.

She glared at Hatori. "Did you see?"

"Yes. But it's okay: I'm a doctor."

***POW***

* * *

Author's note: I originally started this off with a preface of Kana asking Mayuko how her trip to Okinawa went, but there was no way to keep it to 100 words with the preface attached.

This is a sort of an answer to a "swimming" challenge from Lydiacatfish. Thanks for the challenge!


	73. Leash Laws

Title: Leash Laws

* * *

"There has been opposition to the proposed ordinance. One of those opposed is high schooler Kyo Sohma. Mr. Sohma, why are you against mandatory leashes?"

"It's just wrong to leash cats. Cats are independent and need to be free. You shouldn't drag them around leashed up."

"Are you opposed to leash laws for dogs as well?"

"Hell, no. Dogs are disgusting. Can't control their hormones, trying to hump girls' legs all the time. They should all be kept on chains, 24/7."

"I... see. So, some divergent views on pets from high school student Kyo Sohma. Back to you in the studio..."

* * *

Author's note: I'm almost at the very bottom of my pile o' drabbles, and I haven't written any in a couple of weeks, so starting with this story, I'm going to slow down again--I'm going to update once per week. I have been writing some other stories, including a new continuing Furuba story, but I don't plan on publishing any chapters of it until the whole thing is written.

Drabble challenges are always welcome - follow the link from my profile page.


	74. Roman à clef

Title: Roman à clef

* * *

Shigure had not expected to be woken up by a hand around his throat. A hand with an angry, orange-haired owner.

"You sick bastard! I thought you retired from writing!"

"I... did..." he barely whispered.

"Then explain **this**!" Kyo thrust a book in Shigure's face: _The Erotic Adventures of Tohruko and Kyon_ by 'Noa Kiritani.'

"Uhh... coincidence?"

"Wrong answer." Kyo's grip grew tighter.

"No, Kyo-kun! Don't strangle Shigure-san!"

Shigure's eyes filled with grateful tears at the voice of Tohru, his angel of mercy.

"...stabbing him would be much faster."

That was when he realized he had gone too far.

* * *

Author's note: That was fun to write. Thanks to Fading Noctis for the wonderful challenge of "Shigure finally gets caught."


	75. Mine's Longer

Title: Mine's Longer

* * *

"I beat you, rat."

Yuki glanced up condescendingly. "What are you fantasizing about now?"

"It's true. I've already beaten you."

"Pipe dreams don't count."

"Shut up. You wanna know how I won? Mine's longer."

Yuki paused. "By 'longer' you mean..."

"Yeah, that."

"...you're delusional."

"WHAT?"

"Mine is longer, stupid cat. Always has been, always will be."

"Like hell."

"Ask Miss Honda. She's seen both."

"I ain't askin' Tohru. We're gonna compare, here and now."

"You're kidding."

"What's wrong... chicken?" Kyo reached to his waist and unbuckled. Sighing, Yuki did the same.

Sadly, Kyo's belt was two inches shorter than Yuki's.

* * *

Author's note: Based on an incredibly sophomoric Boy Scout campfire skit.

Originally this was written for a "Growing up" challenge. It's a good thing I never grew up, so I can continue writing these weird little stories.


	76. Romantic Adventures

Title: Romantic Adventures

* * *

She closed her eyes as the shampoo rinsed from her hair, luxuriating in the hot water.

As she reached for the conditioner, she heard a noise.

Suddenly, the door slid open and he lurched in. Their eyes met for a moment—then, with a shriek, she covered herself as best she could (not very well).

"S...sorry!" he stammered, leaving as suddenly as he came.

A few seconds later, Ayame popped his head back in. "Thanks for that, Mine-kun. You don't mind if we do it again tomorrow?"

She smiled as she combed the conditioner through her hair. "No problem, tencho!"

* * *

Author's note: I'm curious—before I mentioned their names, who do you think the two characters were?

So anyway, Ayame and Mine have struck me as the Furuba couple most likely to engage in sexual role-play. I'm afraid to imagine to some of the lengths they might go, though.

This is for the "shower" challenge from Valie. As usual, I hope you enjoyed it, and thanks for the challenge!


	77. That's Good Enough for Me

Title: That's Good Enough for Me

* * *

This year, Tohru's Valentine's gift for everyone was cookies: happily baking dozens of them.

As Yuki arrived home February 13th, he was surprised at a savory smell instead of the expected sweet one.

"Honda-san? Are you finished baking?"

"Oh, Yuki-kun! No, these are the last batch... for Kyo-kun."

"They, uh, smell a bit different."

"Yes," Tohru blushed slightly. "Since Kyo-kun doesn't like sweets, I'm making him savory parmesan cookies."

"How nice. Excuse me." Yuki abruptly left and ran upstairs into Kyo's bedroom.

Kyo reacted with confusion. "Yuki? What..."

Yuki grabbed him by his shirt. "You **bastard!** You _lucky, lucky _**bastard!"**

**

* * *

**Title comes from the Cookie Monster's song from _Sesame Street_ (you know... "'C' is for cookie, that's good enough for me.")

Challenge comes from flamingbunnies: "Baking."

And yes, it's yet another story from me in which Yuki is unnaturally attracted to the smell of cheese.


	78. Dietary Restrictions

Title: Dietary Restrictions

* * *

Kagura smiled at her blind date. He was handsome, polite and even brought flowers.

And it was all Kyo-kun's doing! She felt gooey inside knowing that Kyo-kun cared enough to find her a guy.

"I love this Chinese restaurant," she told him as they entered. "You just **have** to try the pork spring rolls. They're heaven!"

He smiled apologetically. "I wish I could."

"Oh... vegetarian?"

"No. I'm a convert to Judaism, so I don't eat pork. I'm not allowed to even touch any part of a pig."

Kagura plastered on a smile. "Oh, that's interesting," while inside: 'Kyo-kun, you jerk!'

* * *

This is my answer to flamingbunnies' challenge of "Blind Date." Hope you liked it, flamingbunnies!


	79. Fermentation Inconsistency

Title: Fermentation Inconsistency

* * *

Arisa tried the slice of bread: "This is really good, Tohru! I'm not really a bread person, but I like this a lot. Hanajima, have tried it?"

"No. I do not eat bread."

"Huh? Why not?"

"For the sake of the yeast. Forced to consume sugar, release carbon dioxide, and then die. Oh, the poor, poor yeast. Must we be so cruel as to kill you... for bread?"

"Hana-chan... I never thought of it that way."

"Hey, Hanajima. Why the compassion for yeast? You eat pork, don't you? How do you justify that?"

Saki shrugged her shoulders. "Because it's tasty."

* * *

I just had this idea that Saki would have really weird and conveniently flexible morals when it comes to eating anything. Thanks for the "Baking" challenge, flamingbunnies!


	80. Ko Baka

Title: Ko-Baka

**Warning**: contains potentially offensive language.

* * *

"A true warrior knows when to fight," Kazuma had said.

Kyo paraphrased it as "Don't kick their asses just 'cause you **can**."

And he knew he **could** kick their asses. Master had trained him for years, and he knew he was good.

"_Hey, orangey."_

"_Nice hair, pinky."_

"_You a **natural** faggot, or a dye job?"_

Kyo almost smiled. He knew now what Master meant. Why waste effort beating up these worthless shits?

"_Hey, is your daddy as big a pussy as you?"_

Kyo really smiled now. "You know, you should have stuck with just making fun of my hair, asshole."

* * *

This story is set back when Kyo was still going to junior high – think of it as taking place right before the flashback when Kyo gets in trouble for fighting in school: this is my idea of how that fight started (after all, in that scene, the teacher does mention that the other boys were just 'making fun of [his] hair.'

This is my answer to Ebony Dagger's drabble challenge of "orange."

The title is (IIRC) the Japanese term for a child who foolishly and openly cherishes his parent.


	81. Filly and Kitty 1 Not as Happy

Author's note: I've long thought that one relationship that has not received enough attention in _Furuba_ fandom is that of Isuzu (Rin) and Kyo. They were both essentialy cast-offs from their parents that were taken in by Kazuma, so in a way they are almost like brother and sister. But they never really interacted in the manga, and most fanfiction hasn't really looked at the two of them together, either.

So I was struck with a few ideas for vignettes in the history of the relationship between Kyo and Isuzu, and, so I'll be posting them over the next few days. They'll be in approximately chronological order. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Filly and Kitty, part 1: Not as Happy

* * *

Her parents were in animated conversation as Isuzu came in. "...I just can't believe it. It just doesn't seem real to me."

Her father nodded. "Yes, such a terrible accident."

Isuzu looked scared. "Somebody died?"

Her mother smiled. "Oh, it's nobody you know, Isuzu-chan. It's the cat's mother."

"The... cat?"

"Oh, you've never met him. He's the most cursed of all of the possessed Sohmas. They say he has evil luck and can never be happy." She paused. "At least not as happy as **we** are."

Once again, Isuzu couldn't help thinking there was something wrong with her parents' smiles.


	82. Filly and Kitty 2 Bath Time

Title: Filly and Kitty Part 2: Bath Time

* * *

Kazuma popped his head in where Kyo and Isuzu were doing their homework. "Kyo, bath time."

The young cat scowled. "Why am I first?"

Isuzu glared at him. "You're younger."

"But I've lived here longer."

"So that means you get to boss me around?"

"It means that I **should** have **some** seniority around here."

Isuzu shrugged her shoulders and smiled oddly. "Well, I'd just as soon go first anyway, since **then** I won't end up soaking in a certain stupid **cat's** old dirty water."

Kyo sputtered in rage. "Maybe I **will** go first then!"

Kazuma smiled widely. "Ah, sibling rivalry."

* * *

Author's note: Number two in my "Filly and Kitty" series of Isuzu and Kyo drabbles. Hope you enjoyed.


	83. Filly and Kitty 3 Even Catboys

Title: Filly and Kitty, part 3: Even Catboys Get the Blues

* * *

Kyo, returning from school, was surprised at the horse just outside the house. "Rin? Is that you?"

"No, it's Seabiscuit. Idiot."

"Didja run into Shishou again? That's was dumb."

"Shut up."

"Hey, can people ride on your back, just like a regular horse?"

"Sure. You wanna try?"

Kyo dropped his bag. "Really? Yeah! What do I do?"

"Just get on my back."

He clambered on. "Do I hold your mane?"

"Nope. Because then I can't do this." She bucked up violently, sending him plummeting to the ground. As he struggled to get his wind back, she smirked at him. "Sucker."

* * *

Author's Note: More Isuzu & Kyo fun. This **had** to have happened at some point.


	84. Filly and Kitty 4 Mine

Title-Filly and Kitty, part 4: Mine

* * *

Isuzu watched Kyo walk off to school with Hatsuharu and Momiji. That cat was **so** annoying.

She was not the only one watching. Two housewives looked in their direction and gossiped.

"How can they bear to be around him? What a bad seed."

"They say he's directly responsible for his mother dying and he drove his father mad."

"Shut up." The two women turned around in surprise. "Shut up! You have no right to talk about Kyo like that!" Isuzu was shaking with rage. "I'm the only one who gets to pick on Kyo! You don't have the right to!"

* * *

Author's note: Another in my Isuzu and Kyo series. Isuzu strikes me as a character who grows fond of others but would rather die than admit it... unless she sees someone else treating them poorly, in which case she suddenly is filled with righteous anger (see her reaction in the manga when Tohru got slapped).

Oh, and happy Thanksgiving!


	85. Filly and Kitty 5 Kids These Days

Filly and Kitty Part 5: Kids These Days

* * *

"Would the two of you stop fighting, finally?" Argument had escalated into screaming match. Had it not been for the quiet but firm presence of Hatsuharu, their two children might have actually resorted to physical violence.

"You don't know anything about it, Mom," her teenaged daughter huffed. "**You** never had a stupid brother."

"Are you forgetting about your uncle Kyo? He's not my brother, but we grew up together, and we **never** fought."

*snerk*

All faces turned to Hatsuharu, who was trying to maintain a straight face. Isuzu's cold expression clearly indicated that his giggling would result in later punishment.

* * *

Author's note: Sorry for the delay. I was hoping to write more of these, but I ran out of inspiration. For now, this is the last in the "Filly and Kitty" miniseries.

I will be updating more regularly, I hope.


	86. Shigure makes Lecherous Comments

Title: Shigure makes Lecherous Comments

* * *

Shigure followed his nose to the kitchen. "What is this heavenly aroma I'm smelling?"

Tohru smiled, happy to be complimented. "Oh, I thought I'd try baking bread. I've never done it before."

The novelist peered through the oven's window. "Freshly baked rolls? How wonderful!"

"I hope they turn out well. Yuki-kun helped me bake them."

"Yuki-kun? Mr. Charcoal?" Shigure's face registered disbelief.

"Yes. I was busy preparing dinner, so he put the pan in the oven for me."

"Ah." Shigure thought for a moment. "So, Yuki-kun put a bun in Tohru-kun's oven? Kyon-kun will be **crushed **to hear the news."

* * *

You know, I could rename a good dozen or so of my stories "Shigure makes Lecherous Comments." Thanks to flamingbunnies for the Baking challenge.


	87. Furuba Holiday Special!

Title: Furuba Holiday Special!

* * *

"Bah, humbug," Akito said.

"Scrooge-san? Since tomorrow is Christmas…"

"You want the day off? Certainly, Tohru Cratchit. You're sacked! Enjoy festive unemployment here in Dickensian Tokyo…" She stopped suddenly. "I quit. I refuse to do a clichéd 'Christmas Carol' adaptation."

But Momiji **really** wanted to be Tiny Tim, the author wrote.

"Who cares! Do something else!"

* * *

"What can I do?" he sobbed, "without the bank money, they'll lock me up…"

"Kyo Bailey? I am apprentice angel Hanajima."

"Are you gonna show me how important my life is?"

"No, I am here to tell you that you should probably kill yourself."

* * *

Author's Note: Obviously, the first part is a lame adaptation of Dickens' _A Christmas Carol_, while the second part is an even lamer (and more disturbing) adaptation of the Frank Capra/Jimmy Stewart movie _It's a Wonderful Life_. Hope you liked it. I will be doing one more Xmas-themed Furuba drabble before the holiday itself rolls around.

I also have a stand-alone Xmas story that I published a couple of years ago called "The Chibi Fruits Basket Christmas Pageant!" that I'm rather proud of.


	88. Osculation

Title: Osculation

* * *

Yuki would have told Kagura to stop, but he couldn't with her tongue in his mouth.

When she had pointed out the mistletoe earlier, he had expected a peck on the cheek, not a world-class frenching.

'_Lucky that Machi isn't around. Or Honda-san, for that matter.'_

Finally, she released him. "Thanks, Yun-chan!" She smiled as if she hadn't just molested him.

"Kagura… what in the world…?"

"I thought I'd try kissing all of the zodiac men. Hiro-kun was really cute. 'I'm only twelve, I'm only twelve!'"

Yuki shuddered.

"The only one left is the elusive Kyo-kun. I **love** a challenge!"

* * *

Merry Xmas, everybody!


	89. In Eggnog Veritas

In Eggnog Veritas

* * *

Kisa was having a fun time at Tohru's Christmas party, when suddenly Hiro stumbled over.

"Shay, Kisha…" he was slurring badly. "Didja know, I **rilly rilly **love ya?"

Kisa could not have blushed any redder. "What are you saying, Hiro-chan? In front of everyone like this?" Indeed, all eyes were on them.

"I guessh I'm a little drunk from the eggnog… sho I'm not afraid to…" He hunched over and kissed her.

Just then, Momiji spoke up. "Hey, Hiro-kun, I lied about the eggnog. It's not spiked at all. So you're just **pretending** to be drunk."

A long silence followed.

* * *

Oh Hiro, you love-crazed fool.

This was for the eggnog challenge from PocketxFullxOfxDreams and the Christmas challenge from Ebony Dagger.


	90. The Very, Very Bad Wolf

The Very, Very Bad Wolf

* * *

Something was wrong. '_Grandfather hadn't __**always**__ looked like a large black dog,_' Little Tohru Riding Hood wondered, '_had he?_'

"Grandfather, what big eyes you have!"

"The better to see you with, my dear! Especially your sexy legs. Viva miniskirts!"

"What a large nose you have!"

"The better to smell your intoxicating aroma with, my dear… but touch my nose… it's so very cold. You'd better get in bed with me to warm me up."

"Okay!"

The door crashed open. Kyo, Yuki, Arisa, and Saki held axes.

"Hey, the woodsman isn't supposed to come in until later."

"That's what **you** think."

* * *

Author's note: I need to thank Ebony Dagger for the "Wolf" challenge--when I thought about it, the first wolf that came to mind was the one of the "Big Bad" variety. And who better to play the part than the resident perv, Shigure?

In the tradition of holiday season "panto", I thought I'd make this my first drabble of 2010. I'm going to try and continue posting drabbles (at least one per week) all year long--I'm looking forward to hitting chapter number 100 very soon. I'll try to make my 100th drabble something special.

Thanks for everyone who have submitted challenge ideas. Even though I have not written a drabble for every challenge, I have read and considered them all. And when I go on vacation later this month, I'll be taking my writing notebook with me and will write as many drabbles as I can.

Happy New Year everybody! Thanks for reading and thank you especially for your reviews!


	91. Pinky Swear

Title: Pinky Swear

* * *

Two young boys were walking home, hand-in-hand, from the playground.

"Shigure-niisan?"

"What is it, 'reno-chan?"

"Will we ever break the curse?"

"Maybe. I dunno."

"Hey, niisan? Let's pinky-swear."

Nodding, Shigure wrapped his pinky around Kureno's.

"Niisan, I pinky-swear that if I ever break the curse, I'll tell you how I did it."

"Okay. And I pinky-swear that if you ever have sex with Akito, then I'll do it with her mom."

They bobbed their joined hands to seal the promise.

"Hey, niisan? What's 'have sex' mean?"

"I dunno, but I can't wait to find out."

* * *

Author's note: This was originally written on my own, not based on any challenge. However, it does seem to fit the "Best Friends" challenge by PocketxFullxOfxDreams. And it has the added advantage of actually being a canonical friendship (unlike the other friendships I wrote drabbles about). Of course, it *is* completely demented, which is nice.


	92. The Red and Candylike button

The red and candylike button

* * *

Mitsuru sighed. It was done at last! Sensei's latest novel! Because he had waited until the last possible moment, she had no choice but to bring **her** laptop to **his** house to add all her corrections and notes. But it was finished!

Ah! She remembered she hadn't saved in awhile. That could be disastrous! Best to save the document and get out of sensei's house ASAP.

"Ooh, what does **this** button do?" Her eyes snapped open at the hated sound of sensei's voice. She saw him reaching for the laptop's power button.

"NOOOOO!" she screamed, and attempted to strangle him.

* * *

Author's note: The title is inspired by the "history eraser button" from _Ren and Stimpy_. And the story is inspired by the "Buttons" challenge from PocketxFullxOfxDreams. Not perhaps the kind of buttons she had in mind, but, I hope she likes it anyway.

And, it seems like it's been a long time since I wrote anything with Mitchan in it, so it's good to have her back. I need to write something new with her and Ritsu for all the Mitchan/Ritchan fans.


	93. Motoko's Sempai

Motoko's Sempai

* * *

"It's been so long, Motoko-chan!"

"Not since you graduated, Kagura-sempai. But, you said you have a question?"

"Yes--my cousin Yuki is looking for a co-ed high school to go to, but he doesn't know much about the local ones."

"So, what's he like?"

"He's very nice and quiet, and really smart. I have a picture of him here…" She pulled a photo from her backpack and handed it over. Motoko looked at it intently.

"So, Motoko-chan?"

"Kaibara Public High School. He should go to Kaibara High. Kaibara. Yes, Kaibara."

"I've heard that Prefectural…"

There was fire in her eyes. "KAI-BA-RA!"

* * *

Author's note: Another "Best Friends" drabble from the challenge by PocketxFullxOfxDreams. Considering the similarity of their personalities (at least as boys are concerned), one can easily imagine Kagura as Motoko Minagawa's junior high sempai. And as a bonus, you learn how Motoko fell in love (?) with Yuki.


	94. Survivor's Guilt

Survivor's Guilt

* * *

The day she had first heard about the ultimate fate of the cat, she refused to believe it. There was no way anyone could do something like that to the adorable Kyo-kun.

Then she thought about Rin-chan's parents. And how Momiji-chan had been abandoned. And how Haru-chan hated everyone.

And she didn't know what they had done to Yun-chan, but there had to be a reason he never talked to anyone.

Shortly afterwards, Kagura's parents realized she was missing. Hours later, when they asked her why she had been hiding in a dark closet, she was unable to explain why.

* * *

Author's note: This was written for a "Black Room" challenge from Tabbyprincess. I got to thinking about Kagura, and how it's likely that she might harbor feelings of guilt being in her situation: her parents, it is noted in the series and in the author's notes, are among the kindest of all the cursed Sohmas, and unlike almost all the others, she has no major psychological traumas (that we know about, that is). And considering how guilty she felt for treating Kyo condescendingly, it's quite possible she might also feel guilt for having a happy life, considering how many unhappy people surround her.

Sorry for being all serious. I'll try to make the next one funny.


	95. Untitled Megumi Story

Title: Um… I can't tell you. It would spoil the surprise.

* * *

  
"Hanajima-kun!" A cute classmate approached Megumi. "Is it true you curse people?"

Her thoughtlessly direct approach horrified their classmates, but Megumi remained calm and even. "Yes. I can curse anyone whose name I know. I write it in this notebook." He wrote out a name. "And the curse is complete."

She looked at him in awe. "Whoa. Cool!"

* * *

  
Far away, an orange-headed _shihan _was demonstrating a move to his pupils. "I want to see you do fifty repetitions of this…"

Suddenly he felt a draft. His pants had fallen to the floor.

"I am going to **kill **Megumi," he growled.

* * *

Author's note: And as you might have guessed, the true title of this story is "Pants Note." (Or for those of you in the UK, "Trousers Note.") This one was an absolute bear to get down to 100 words, but I finally did it. Thanks to ChipsAhoyPup (who is, I might point out, the greatest reviewer EVER) for the Death Note challenge. I hope you enjoyed!


	96. The Monthly Visitor

Title: The Monthly Visitor

* * *

Shigure looked over his reading glasses at Hatsuharu. "Not that I care, but what are you doing here at the main house instead of spending time with Rin-chan?"

Haru shrugged. "It's 'that time of the month.' She likes to be left alone. What do **you** do when it's Akito's time, _sensei_?"

Shigure smiled dismissively. "Oh, it's no problem. That's the one time per month when she's actually **nice**."

Then, a door opened ominously...

Afterwards, Shigure explained that he had known all along that Akito had been overhearing their conversation, but she had her doubts: he was **so **good at lying…**  
**

**

* * *

**Author's Note: This was for a "Time of the Month" challenge from flamingbunnies. Hope you liked it!


	97. Blood

Blood

* * *

In the Sohma family, relationships of friendship were often closer than those of blood.

So it was between Kazuma and Makoto. Not brothers or first cousins, but close nonetheless. From childhood through high school, they were inseparable.

But they did become estranged after Makoto went to college and Kazuma studied martial arts.

When Makoto married, the gulf between them truly became apparent. Single and married people just didn't have much in common.

They still talked from time to time, however. Like the time Makoto told him his wife was pregnant… if it was a boy, they would name him "Kyo."

* * *

Author's note: Another "best friends" story. I sometimes think that there had to be more reasons that just Kazuma's grandfather that Kazuma took Kyo in: some connection beyond that. Here's one possibility.

Sorry for it being another serious fic. I'll try to make the next one funny.


	98. Scrapbooking

Scrapbooking

* * *

A couple of times each month, they would sit down with photos and add them to the scrapbook.

This time, they were going through some pictures Hanajima had sent them from Tohru's middle school days.

"Look, here's one we took at a slumber party at Hana-chan's!"

Despite his boredom, Kyo did smile at a picture of Tohru in shorty pj's… wait, is it perverted to look at your wife's legs when she was underage?

"Look! Megumi-san is in it, too!"

"Megumi? He looked closely. Sure enough, there he was. "Uh, Tohru? Where the hell do they sell pitch-black footy pajamas?"

* * *

Author's note: This is for Epik Hentai's "Pajamas" challenge. Hope you liked it!


	99. Her Discovery

Her Discovery

* * *

Recently, I've discovered something unbelievably strange about my family: I saw a relative turn into an animal!

Amazingly, it's true. I saw one Sohma boy--the one with the two-color hair--turn into a cow. No mistake.

I asked my husband about it--and he did not say a single word. He just looked nervous.

Finally, I asked Satsuki-san about it--and I was right! Apparently, it's a huge secret that several family members are cursed like that. But the sad part is, the curse sometimes makes parents reject their children.

But I would never do that--not even if my precious Momo was cursed.

* * *

Author's note: Yes, it's a monologue from Momiji's _Mutti_. This story concept came to me all at once--with the final line like the twist of a knife.

I had another story (a humorous one) that I was going to post first, but then I wrote this one--and I realized that if I posted that story first, then **this **would be story 100. And I did not want chapter 100 to be uncomfortably angsty drama. So, angsty drama first, and more typical drabble next time.


	100. She's Grrrrrrrrreat!

She's Grrrrrrrrreat!

* * *

Even though she was slightly ill, Kisa pretended she felt fine. If she were sick, she wouldn't be able to visit _oneechan_… even if _oneechan_ was only doing laundry.

But as she helped Tohru with the linens, Kisa felt dizzy. Losing her balance, she grabbed the sheets, before falling over.

"Kisa-san?" Tohru tried to untangle the linens. Realizing that Kisa had transformed, Tohru took the whole pile with her.

To her relief, she found Yuki. "Yuki-kun! Please help me with Kisa-san! She's a **tiger **under the sheets!"

Why Yuki suddenly got a **nosebleed **at that was a mystery to Tohru.

* * *

Author's Note: First things first: I wanted to write a Kisa story in commemoration for the new lunar new year. Happy year of the tiger, everyone!

Yay! 100 chapters! When I first started publishing these chapters back in June of last year, I had in the back of my mind that I'd like to get to at least 100 chapters, but I don't know if I actually believed I'd make it. But I did!

I write these silly little stories because I love _Fruits Basket_. I love the series as a whole, I love the situations, and I love the characters, and the best way for me to express how I feel about it is for me to write stories.

So a huge thank you to everyone who has suggested challenges, everyone who has favorited it, everyone who has signed up for story alerts for it, everyone who has reviewed it, and everyone who has read it! If you are reading these words, consider yourself thanked!

And here's to chapters 101 to 200!


	101. Good Girls Wear White

Good Girls Wear White

* * *

Class 2D's resident girl-crazy loser duo were deep in discussion.

"Whaddya think about the class rep?"

"Probably, yeah."

"Uotani?"

"Definitely not."

"Hanajima?"

"Another no. Hers have got to be black, right?"

Kyo sidled up to the two. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"'Good girls wear white.'"

"Huh?"

"You know… panties."

"Panties? You're talking about underwear?"

"So, you suppose that Honda's are white?"

Kyo snorted. "Of course they are. I've seen 'em."

"You've seen Tohru's panties?" the two squealed in shock. LOUDLY.

"Yeah, on the clothesli…" was all that Kyo could get out before Uotani's pipe concussed his skull.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Okay, it's been quite awhile since I last updated this baby. I can't promise that I will update this regularly, but this story is definitely not dead.

I feel like I have a lot to explain/justify in this tiny story. _Allons!_

The two guys referred to in the first line (if I wasn't clear enough) are the two referred to as the "2D Iend-frays" in one of Takaya's side notes in the manga. I wouldn't have called them the "Iend-frays" in the story itself, but I thought that might be a bit too obscure.

The "class rep" they are talking about is the never-named girl in glasses who has been known to assist Yuki in leading class discussions from time to time.

I know that it's an anime/manga convention for some characters to be pathologically shy or embarrassed about the laundering of underwear, but in reality, that doesn't happen. Particularly if, like Tohru, you are someone who deals with laundry on a nearly-daily basis. I don't think she would shy at all away from hanging her lingerie out to dry with the rest of the laundry. It wouldn't even occur to her to be shy about that.

And Kyo is just socially clueless enough to not realize that there are dorks out there, like the Iend-frays, who DO have a fetishy hang-up over that sort of thing.

So, have I killed the story through over-explaining? I hope so. Until next time!


	102. Going to the Chapel

Going to the Chapel

* * *

"Yu-"

Yuki shut her up with another kiss. It was his technique for avoiding dreaded conversations.

But with determination, Machi pushed Yuki away. "No. We need to talk."

"…talk?"

"About us."

Erk. "Why? I love you… you love me…"

She fixed him with a pointed expression. "Then, propose."

"Um…"

"We've been in love for years. We should get married. Unless you have some reason **not** to."

Dangerous ground. "Don't get angry…"

Machi's eyes narrowed. "Too late."

"It's Nii-san! He'd plan a wedding to humiliate us both!"

"…Fair point."

"So… how about a wedding chapel in Vegas?"

They eloped that weekend.

* * *

**Author's note: **This story was inspired by my younger brother's wedding, which happened two days ago. And for the last several months, as I watched all the preparations taking place, I realized: if I ever get married, I am totally going to elope.


	103. Father's Day

Father's Day

* * *

Jouji Hanajima adored his children more than anything in the world, period.

Perhaps to other people, Saki and Megumi seemed… 'eccentric'? 'Offbeat'? 'Frickin' weird'? But to their dad, they were perfect.

"Father?"

"Yes, Saki? Megumi?"

"It is the third Sunday in June. Felicitations on Father's Day."

"Err… thank you."

"And as per our tradition…" Saki looked over to her brother. "Ready?"

They both glomped him. "WE LOVE YOU, DADDY! SQUEE!"

At the bottom of a Hanajima pile, Jouji smiled. "Did you two actually say 'squee'?"

Megumi nodded. "Too overdone?"

They were only ever odd when they tried to be 'normal.'

* * *

**Author's note:** This was written and published on Father's Day 2011. I really wanted to write a Father's Day drabble for Furuba, but it's hard, because most father-child dynamics in the series are fraught with drama, if not outright hostility. And I watned to write a completely WAFFy one.

That pretty much left me with Saki and Megumi's dad, probably the kindest biological dad in the series who isn't dead. So Jouji (my name for him, as Takaya didn't give him one) it was.

Happy Father's Day!


	104. Awkward Unsilence

Awkward Unsilence

* * *

Kana had gone to the ladies' room, and Shigure was socializing at the bar with someone he knew, so now, Mayuko was stuck at the table with Hatori, who smoked in silence.

Worst double-date ever.

"Um, you're a doctor, right, Hatori-san?"

Hatori took a long drag, then exhaled. "Yes."

"So, uh, why do you smoke? Isn't it really bad for your health?"

He took another, longer, drag, and a long exhale, this time with a smoke ring. "Because when I smoke, I don't have to talk."

Mayuko blushed in embarrassment. 'What a **jerk!** What does Kana see in this guy?'

* * *

Author's Note: Come to think of it, that's as good an explanation for Hatori's smoking habit as any. When surrounded by perpetual talkers like Shigure and Ayame, any excuse to avoid talking is a good one.


End file.
